We found out this past Tuesday that Alex will be deployed in June for 6 months. We knew it could happen so it didn't come as a huge surprise. I have been going through a roller coaster of emotions since we found out. Sometimes I'm fine because like I said we always knew it was most likely gunna happen just didn't know when. Other times I think about how he will be leaving just over a month from the time our second child will be born. And when I get the most sad is when I think about my sweet little Reilly Roo being without his daddy for 6 months. He is such a daddy's boy its going to be hard.
I feel like we have had a little test over the past month of what its going to be like since Alex has been away from us. The first week was hard because I was thinking about how long it was going to be without him (obviously not long at all compared to 6 months overseas), but then it got easier each passing day. Reilly mentions his Daddy often. When we play he makes sure to still include daddy by making daddy something in his play kitchen and setting it aside for him, or pretending to talk to him on the phone, or putting tools in a tool box for him and saying they are daddy's tools. He loves his daddy so much and mentions him throughout the day, everyday. Hopefully he will be doing the same during the 6 months. There has only been one time it really broke my heart the first week Alex was gone and Reilly looked at me with the saddest face and said he wanted his daddy and gave me a hug. I know I should expect more of these moments in the coming months but hopefully he can continue to talk about daddy in positive ways. I am crossing my fingers we will be able to skype and talk to daddy everyday he is gone because I think doing that this time around has helped.
I know I am a strong woman. I have gotten through hard times in the past and know I can get through this. Will it suck...YES! But we can get through it. Sometimes I think about how I was already worried about going through the newborn phase and lack of sleep with a toddler but thinking about doing it all alone freaks me out! I know in the end this deployment will be the worst on Alex. Being away from his family and not being able to watch his sons grow will have to be hard on him. At least I will still be with my sweet boys EVERY day.
It does help knowing that I have friends on base that I can call if I need anything. I will just have to learn to admit to myself when I need help and be able to ask for help! which I think might be the hardest part for me.
My friend Erica's husband will also be deploying around the same time as Alex. It is comforting to know that she is one of my closest friends here and we will be able to count on and lean on each other for support along the way. She just had her third sweet baby girl Friday so it will also be nice she will be going through the baby phase as well. (We can be walking zombies together- although hopefully hers will be sleeping through the night by then )
I have heard staying busy is key during a deployment. When Alex gets back I am planning to sit down and try to plan out the months he will be gone. Plan a vacation to visit family a couple times and some other activities so I have something at least once a month to look forward to and help the time go by. My house is ALWAYS open for people to come visit and help out too so just let me know!
I am sure there will be more blogs to come about the dreaded "D" word but for now I will leave you with a few pics of my hunky husband in uniform and our sweet little boy ;)
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| surprising daddy at work for his birthday |
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| another visit to see daddy at work |
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| picnic with daddy during mustache march |
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